


Possible Grooming Piece

by Alkalyne



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Goodbyes, M/M, Sad, tags what are they, tragic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 00:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alkalyne/pseuds/Alkalyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin and Levi try to say goodbye to one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possible Grooming Piece

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be part of a bigger work known as "Grooming."

“So you approve?” Erwin asked Levi, hands pressed firmly on the table.

Levi looked up at him with his ever-bored expression. “You'll just order me to if I don't.”

The Commander let out an exasperated sigh. His corporal had become so difficult over the last few days. “You're restlessness isn't going to be eased by getting short with me.”

Same dead expression. “What have you been up to for the last week, Commander? I've hardly seen you and all of a sudden you're presenting this crappy ass plan to me.”

“So you don't approve.” Erwin pushed it aside. “You could have just said that.”

“And then you'd order me to be okay with it.” Levi repeated. He drummed his fingers against his cane. He held it the way a kingpin would.

“Actually, no, I wouldn't have.” Erwin folded his arms. “I'd have asked why and changed accordingly if there were any errors in my reasoning.”

“Which there rarely is,” Levi interjected. 

Erwin massaged the bridge of his nose. His hand slid down his face, brushing against the stubble. Well crap. Somebody forgot to shave. But he hadn't had the need for a mirror for the past two days—they had been spent with him holed up planning and leaving behind instructions for every possible scenario that could come up.

“What are you trying to say, Levi?” Erwin fell back into his chair.

Levi leaned over, elbow on the table. “You really wanna know?”

“Yes because I want this stupid game to finish.”

Something in Levi's eyes changed. “Which game?”

Erwin looked up from the map, which he hadn't even noticed shifting his attention to. “What?”

“The game I'm obviously playing with you right now—which I'd be damn disappointed if you didn't catch. Or the game where you've been pretending that you're safe from the higher-ups?” He twisted his cane. “That punk-ass Jean kid was right and you've known for a while. So which game?”

The Commander studied his corporal. Thanks to his height, he passed as much younger than he really was. His coarse attitude aided in that. The way he was currently holding himself seemed perfectly fine, except for those drumming fingers.

Erwin watched those immaculate nails go up and down, a steady rhythm.

“You want the game to finish,” Levi began. “But I know you'd never, ever commit suicide. You'll escape, run off, after this one and come back. But you'll let them think it's finished it.”

He gave Levi a tired smile. “You're wrong, corporal. This isn't a game—it's a trap.” He looked to the tiny windows that provided their light. “There's no escaping this. The most I can do is see this mission through and suffer the consequences. The game I want to end is you not being straight with me.” Erwin looked back at Levi. “You're rarely this talkative and obtuse. Something's bothering you.”

Levi stopped drumming his fingers against the hook of the cane. He slid his hand down and lifted it, examining it. There were four nicks in it. 

He was quick.

Erwin tried to jump back and to the side, but of course Levi was expecting that. He hooked around the Commander's neck and yanked him down to eye level. Erwin hit the table with a loud thud, his elbows stinging. He was eye-to-eye with his corporal.

“I don't want a stoic goodbye,” Levi hissed.

His eyes were still that half-open gaze, but something had changed. The smoldering look people often said he had was now ablaze. 

Erwin tried to pull away, but Levi had a tight grip on the cane. And Erwin had to be honest with himself—there was barely effort in that escape.

He could feel Levi's warm breath on his face. His shoulders relaxed. Slowly and carefully, Levi pushed the cane away and up. It hit the floor with a loud clack. 

“When I became squad leader, you told me I couldn't publicly or openly mourn. I already knew that, of course. But you are my Commander and even you've gone back on those words.” 

The words were true and cut deep—yet Levi's tone was gentle. So was his touch on the Commander's hand. 

“I know you won't survive because you'll succeed. I know I'll get to say goodbye to you, but too many assholes'll be at the gallows for me to say it right.” He kept his gray eyes locked on Erwin. “Our kind rarely has the chance to say goodbye to each other.”

Erwin found he stopped breathing. He tilted his head down, not wanting to exhale in his friend's face. Their foreheads touched. Erwin stopped himself from lurching back. He closed his eyes. “It's impossible to say goodbye, Levi. We're never ready for it, and when given the chance, we just mess it up.”

“I don't know who this 'we' is. I'm pretty sure I'm not the one messing this up.”

The Commander smiled. All of his smiles were some form of tired or exhausted. “Your leg must be getting tired.”

“Hmph.” Levi pushed himself forward, as if to prove a point. 

Erwin's knees began to quiver. He sank down, head brushing against Levi's nose, chest, and then it hit the table. His whole body was shaking, but he made no sound.

Levi held his Commander's hand.

“I'm not scared,” Erwin finally managed.

“Never thought you were,” Levi said. “So why clarify?”

The Commander took a deep breath. He looked up, his face showing no evidence of the sudden outburst. “I am enraged about what will happen. My death will be at the hands of other Humans, not at the mouths of the Titans.”

Levi began to reach out but stopped. He let his hand fall to Erwin's wrist. “I'd rather your death not happen for another forty gross years.”

The Commander suddenly straightened up. He was smiling at Levi, but it wasn't tired or forced. Something about it made Levi's heart break. “Don't be too rough on Jean, you got that?” he pushed himself away from the table and was out too fast for Levi to even call out.

He slowly fell back into his chair, staring at the hand that had been on his Commander's wrist. “Sorry for messing it up,” Levi muttered.


End file.
